Phil and Snoop (22nd February)

I went to see Phil and Snoop the dog. I managed to survive the national railway. I think I am getting used to the overground trains now. I am still scared of the underground, as I first had a panic attack whilst in the underground. I was hyperventilating and all that shit.

We walked around Greenwich park, and Blackheath. When we got to Blackheath, Snoop was let off his lead, and started running around like crazy! He’s very well trained though, as there were roads… and he never went into the roads, like most dogs do! He was running around in oval shapes. He looked rather happy running around! Snoop showed a few tricks, rolling over and giving a kiss. He can also jump through a hula hoop too ;). Snoop my hero! Most dogs usually hate being on leads, when snoop is finished running around or called back, he just sits there waiting for the lead. He is one awesome dog.

Anyway later that afternoon/evening, Snoop went to Phil’s friends. Phil and I went to the coolest restaurant bar ever, called Zero Degrees had an amazing starter platter. We also ordered a few cocktails oh yes 😉 cannot resist a cocktail. We both had pizza, then we headed to the station, and he put me on the train home. It was a great evening. I managed to survive the trains without having panic attacks. There will always be the fear of having a panic attack I think.

General Ramblings (Tuesday 19th February)

After happenings of previous night, had to wake up at ridiculous time due to Fireman going on to his day shift. He dropped me off at the station. I was really worried that I was going to have a panic attack on the train, but thankfully I was too tired to have one.

I was going to go shopping as soon as I arrived near where I lived, but it was 7.30am, bit early eh. I went home and had my breakfast, then dragged my ass out oft the house to the shopping center. I get a bit nervous shopping because it seems most of the time the shop assistants always come up to me and ask if I need any help. It really does not help with my social anxiety. Could deal with the ground swallowing me up. I also tend not to try on shoes in shops, because I feel people are watching me, and think i look like a twat. Mostly buy shoes online, on the fair occasion when I am hypomanic I can just about try on shoes in the shop. I hate social anxiety, and anxiety in general. Should generally

Moving on, after christmas I bought a dress from Republic, but the idiot left the security tag on, so it took me about 2 months to brave myself up to go to a Republic store to get it off. Thankfully i kept the receipt. Also, managed to survive the torture of asking the shop assistant to take it off. Go me.

I eventually went home after exhausting evening and morning to catch up on my regular TV shows. In the evening I went to martial arts, I was dreading it becuase I was the second highest belt rank, and the next highest belt rank is a complete arrogant ass at times. First time I did defence drills with him was just diabolical, because the defence drill , the one defending it’s their drill so he was going at ridiculous speed,so I couldn’t block hardly anything. Also he was nearly hitting me. I was bit anxious to be partnering him if I had to , which I didn’t have to so woopee. Didn’t really like the class that night as it was a bit tedious, less vibrance. 😦