I don’t really like being the center of attention, never have and never will. This is where the social anxiety comes in.. I don’t like being judged or made to feel like a prat. I remember when I was in at school, even at GCSE level.. I would avoid doing the “public speaking” for any class. Avoiding meant I would skip the day so I didn’t have to do it. Would make an excuse to get out of class, anything just so I didn’t have to do it. I, also, did it when I was at University for a short time – I saw the professor and said I couldn’t do it – he just said I was a bit more nervous than most. I was thinking “Well I would rather kill myself than speak in front of people.” My thinking is extremely fucked.
So recent happenings of avoidance and attention on me.. my Care Co-ordinator phoned up quite late last night about 8pm, don’t really know how he manages to work so late. He wanted my support worker to make the appointment and she was only available in the afternoon. He said If i couldn’t make it I could come in, in the morning. SO you know what I am going for – yup the morning, so I don’t have two prying eyes watching me. =)
Bipolar Wings 